Genealogy One Liners

Submitted by: HOST GFS Shell@aol.com

 

A family reunion is an effective form of birth control
A family tree can wither if nobody tends it's roots
A great many family trees were started by grafting
A miser is hard to live with, but makes a fine ancestor
A new cousin a day keeps the boredom away
After 30 days, unclaimed ancestors will be adopted
Alright! Everybody out of the genetic pool!
Always willing to share my ignorance...
Am I the only person up my tree -- seems like it
Ancestors were just people...
Any family tree produces some lemons, nuts and bad apples
At last a chance to make my skeletons dance!
Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home
Biochemists wear designer genes
C A U T I O N ! ... You have now entered the Genealogy Zone
Climbing my family tree was fun until the nuts appeared!
Cousins marrying cousins: A non-branching family tree
Cousins marrying cousins: VERY tangled roots!
"Crazy" is a relative term in MY family
Death is just nature's way of dropping carrier
Do I hear the rattle of chains?
Documentation....The hardest part of genealogy
Don't sit under the family tree with anyone else but me!
Ever find an ancestor HANGING from the family tree?
Every family tree has some sap in it
Evolution is God's way of issuing updates
FLOOR: (n) The place for storing your priceless genealogy records
For a reply, send a self-abused, stomped elephant to...
Gene-Allergy - It's a contagious disease, but I love it!
Genealogists are like monkeys, always in the trees
Genealogists are time unravelers
Genealogists do it generation after generation....
Genealogists live in the past lane
Old genealogists never die, they just haunt cemeteries
Old genealogists never die, they just lose their census
Genealogy - a search for the greatest treasures -- our ancestors
Genealogy - it's only an obsession after all!
Genealogy - will I ever find time to mow the lawn again?
Genealogy is like Hide & Seek: They Hide & I Seek!
Genealogy...it's not a hobby, it's an obsession
Genealogy: Chasing your own tale!
Genealogy: Tracing yourself back to better people
Ghosts are merely unsubstantiated roomers
Heredity: Everyone believes in it until their children act like fools!
How can one ancestor cause so much TROUBLE ??
I can trace my Taglines back 8 generations
I looked into my family tree and found out I was a sap
I looked up my family tree...there were two dogs using it
I researched my family tree...apparently I don't exist!
I shook my family tree, a bunch of nuts fell out
I should have asked them BEFORE they died!
I think my ancestors had several "bad heir" days
I used to have a life, then I started doing genealogy
I want to find ALL of them! So far I only have a few thousand
I'd rather look for dead people than have 'em look for me
I'm always late. My ancestors arrived on the Juneflower
I'm no genealogist. ... Until this year I spelled it "geneOlogist!"
I'm not sick, I've just got fading genes
I'm not stuck, I'm ancestrally challenged
I'm searching for myself; Have you seen me?
I'm stuck in my family tree, and I can't get down
If only people came with pulldown menus and on-line help...
Isn't genealogy fun? The answer to one problem, leads to two more!
It is hereditary in my family not to have children
It's a poor family that hath neither a whore or a thief
It's hard to believe that someday I'll be an ancestor
It's 1995. Do you know where your great-grandparents were?
Jeanealogy: the study of LEVIS and WRANGLERS
Many a family tree needs trimming
May the Saint of Genealogists bless you!
My ancestors must be in a witness protection program!
My family came on the Mayflower...or was it Allied?
My family coat of arms ties at the back.....is that normal?
My family tree is a few branches short! Help appreciated
My family tree is lost in the forest
My family tree must have been used for firewood
My genes are so tight, they may stay with me forever
My hobby is genealogy, and I raise dust bunnies as pets
Only a Genealogist regards a step backwards as progress
Originality is the art of concealing your sources
RELATIVES...People who come to dinner who aren't friends
Remember, undocumented genealogy is mythology
Searching Shipping records? Simply naval gazing
Shake your family tree and watch the nuts fall!
Share your knowledge, it is a way to achieve immortality
Shh! Be vewy, vewy quiet...I'm hunting forebears. Elmer Fudd
Snobs talk as if they had begotten their own ancestors!
So many ancestors...so little time!
Sometimes I think my grandfather was in a government protection program
That's strange; half my ancestors are WOMEN!
That's the problem with the gene pool: No lifeguard
The gene pool could use a little chlorine!
There is strength in our Roots
They've said *you* are the fertilizer of your family tree!
To a genealogist, EVERYTHING is relative!
Try genealogy. You can't get fired and you can't quit!
Warning!! There are no lifeguards in the gene pool!
What do you mean my Birth Certificate expired?
What do you mean my family tree has root rot!
What do you mean my grandfather didn't have any children?
When I searched for ancestors, I found friends!
When marriage is outlawed only outlaws will have in-laws
When there's a will, I want to be in it!
When tracing ancestors, please stay within the lines
Whoever said "seek and ye shall find" was NOT a genealogist
Why are there so many gnarled limbs on my family tree?
With MY luck, my family tree has root-rot!
Wow, half of my forefathers are women!
Yikes! My genes are faded and full of holes!

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